I'm weirding people out

You know how people look so casual and cool while they're hitting on someone in movies, right? You almost get this feeling they don't even have to try so hard. It's just there, simple as that. So that's exactly what I can't do. Few months ago I decided to try just flirt with someone. Few days ago I was sharing that story with my friends and realized that this story is definitely a “blog material”.

So I was at pub with friends, standing outside in the smoking area and being little tipsy. My friend went inside because it took me ages to finish my cigarette. And that was the moment when I was thinking: hey…. Flirt! I wasn’t even interested in anyone. The only thing I was after was the ‘flirt at a bar with some stranger’ experience. I mean, I have few of those but I don’t count those ones when both, me and the poor guy, are smashed as hell. So anyway, I looked around and there was this guy smoking by himself. It took me at least one minute to decide what to say and I noticed I’m quite nervous as well. In the end I went with: ,,HEY!!!”. ( the way Bridget Jones shouts “OI” at full room of people) It wasn’t very elegant I must say but I’ve caught his attention.(and everyone in there as well) For some reason he looked little bit shocked but tried to be nice anyway and asked me if he knows me and smiled. From this moment there wasn’t any thinking involved from my side. I said: ,,No! But I know you. And I know what you did last night!.” Well, he didn’t response to this pick-up line of mine and just left. (his cigarette wasn’t anywhere near to be finished). So I was left alone and thinking that I had to go wrong somehow.  

Bit later I met him once again when I was standing at the bar and waiting for my drink. He (accidentally, poor guy) stood next to me and then noticed me. I think he said something like ‘you again’ and I think I didn’t learn from my first attempt at all, so I was like :,,No, you again! And I know all about you so don’t play with me. “There was few more moments full of me spilling rubbish like this on him and also full of his confusion. I know he told me that I’m pretty and I remember me saying something like ‘yeah I know I’m pretty pretty(wtf klara). In the end he said: ,,You’re weird. I would ask for your number but…nah. Weird.”

And that’s it!!! I basically weirded that guy out. I mean, who else can say that? If you found yourself in same situation when you were trying to hit on somebody and you just got the whole thing wrong, please tell me more about it. I would love to hear those stories. For some reason stories like that I love the most. I even like to tell people about me doing something stupid or embarrassing because I think it makes me laugh.

Anyway, That’s it for today. Just wanted to share how good I am in this whole flirt thing or whatever it is. Do you have any funny or embarrassing pick-up lines? Please share with me J

Laugh out loud

Okay, let's admit it. What's better than have a good laugh? Like when you laughing so hard you cry or can't catch your breath. I love when I get these. I just love to laugh. But you know what I miss? When I was a teenage I could start laughing just because and stick with it for couple of hours. I think it's especially like girl thing. I remember when me and my sister were teenage. Once we started that was it. You lost us for another hour or so. My brother used to make fun of us so he kept saying completely random words for about a minute and then watching us going completely mental about it. And I mean like really not funny words. He said table and me and Ema looked at each other and laughed. But why? I don't know but we thought it was funny. Also I remember every weekend when we went to our bedroom and our "night session" started. We've got to be so annoying since very often my dad came to our room with simple:,, SHUT UP!!!!". And yes, obviously that made us laugh even harder. Like wtf dad did you really think that anything can stop this madness?
Or at school. When I was at primary school I remember they used to send us outside the room and they always said:,,Come back when you'll calm down!" The problem was I always calmed down very quickly, it was like magic. When I left the classroom I didn't even know what was so funny. But in the exact moment when I got brave enough to come back, I opened the door and took about 5 seconds to remember what was so funny. And realise it's actually even more hilarious now when I'm trying not to laugh. Teachers asked me so many times if I'm actually taking piss now because I'm not supposed to walk through that door if I'm not calm. Well no, I wasn't. Like I said, it was like magic and it worked one hundred percent of time.

Don't you miss this? I'm still having a good laugh almost every day but it's more rare now to actually fall down on the floor because of laughter. So every single time when I feel like the big great laughter is here, I embrace it. I'm doing the opposite of my-teenage-me was doing at school. I'm trying to support this laugh as much as I can and keep it for as long as possible. Laughing is just beautiful. Simple pleasure of our life.
So please, next time when you laugh don't try to hold it inside because you are an adult and you are at work and it's not really appropriate. F**k it, just laugh as hard as you can.

New Year resolutions? May the force be with me

So it’s official. 2017!!!Am I the only one who always get this strange and exciting feeling like something is going to change? Usually I get this feeling right before I’m going out on New Years Eve which, if you ask me, it’s just huge excuse to get smashed. But to be fair, people getting smashed because it’s Friday and THIS WEEK was the longest of their life or sometimes because today is a pay day and there is nothing I would rather do then spend all of my money again and be broke for rest of the month. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging. I’m doing exactly the same. So when I’m saying New Years Eve is huge excuse I mean it’s very good excuse. This year though I was a good girl. No crazy partying, no sleeping Klara in pub, no lost phones and shoes. We’ve got home at 1am which I personally think is impressive. Anyway, I was talking about something else, right? About this feeling like with New Year, everything is going to change. And every year I’m even having this pep talk with myself which is quite strange. It goes something like this :,, Klara, this is the year! This is the year that everything is going to change and you are going to do all the stuff that you want to do but haven’t done yet. You will be with person you love. You will find long lost friend. You will be successful in everything you’re going to do. You will dance like you used to. You will loose all the extra weight you have. You will start saving money. You will get up every morning before 11 like everyone else. You will not spend 70% of your free time watching Netflix. You will learn another language. You will keep your room tidy up every single day. You will call your parents every week. You will be more patient with people. You will be more patient with yourself….”

I could keep going but I think you get the point. Basically every year I believe that my life is going to be different and better. I had this talk with myself just week ago. And guess what, I woke up 1th of January and nothing was different. Because I kind of expected that I will wake up and feel like – holy shit, everything is different! My hair are longer, my bank account wider, my lovelife simple, my dream magically came true during night, I’m actually married, succesful dancer working in London’s theatres and it just happened. Many of you just think how silly and naive this is but I’m pretty sure that most of you actually felt the same way in your life, at least once. Many of you also think-why she put her hair and bank account before everything else? I didn’t think that trough really and I’m not going to be coward to change it just because everyone else would. (All I really want is to be loved, okay? Leave me alone). Anyway, nothing like that happened. I’m still the same Klara. But okay, let’s get serious here. I think the only thing what we can change is our attitude. Change your attitude and things gonna be different. So I have only one New Year resolution which is to be the best version of myself. And to do that I need to work on my attitude because every single change start with ourselves.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE & MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU!!!! 

The Perks of being me

So I decided to start a blog again. I have one, in czech, but to be honest it's easier for me to think in english. But since I wasn't able to make not even one single post without lots of grammar mistakes I can't even imagine how many I'm gonna make in english. So please, be aware: you're about to enter my World full of grammar mistakes, sarcasm and all that things that I found funny. 
So rule number one: Don't get all upset because my english is rubbish sometimes.
Number two: I've been called sarcastic bitch of the month (cheers Benjamin) for a reason. Worst part is that I don't even know I'm being sarcastic sometimes, I'm trying not to but somehow I usually make it anyway.... But I love being sarcastic. 
And the last one: I learned the hard way(Jesus Klara, what are you laughing at?!?!?!), people don't always find funny what I do. Truth is I find funny too many things. So I should at least once meet you halfway and maybe even make you laugh. But Don't count on it.

Anyway, these are the rules or maybe more like warnings. What I'm basically saying it's I might not be funny at all, I might gonna be all lame with vrong spelyng and you'll get feeling that I'm being rude or something, but that's fine. I promise, that's just me. 

The moments when other people usually find me most funny are when I'm not trying to be. I'm getting confused pretty easily, so part of it is when I'm confused and being silly. But last year it's more connected to me trying to say something in english. Few days ago I wanted to tell my friend Matthew that part of my leg really hurts me. But I just couldn't remember how is that part called, but I did remember something. So I said:,, You know when you have auntie and there is her husband yeah? And this word for husband of your auntie is almost the same word like this part of your body, that hurts me." And you know the worst part? I have to google it right now because again I can't remember husband of auntie or the part of my leg. So.... oh yeah, its uncle and ankle. I had always problem with those two words. I have lot of problems with lot of words to be fair. After 15 months living in England you would say my english is gonna be perfect but no. But it's more fun this way, isn't it? 
Well, I'll leave it for today. I was thinking about start this blog in past two weeks and I had so many ideas what to write about and how and then I sit down and had no idea what am I doing. It's like when I'm having conversation with someone and when it's to late, the right words just magically appear in my head. So what I'm gonna do is post this and when another stuff gonna magically appear in my head, I'm gonna write it down for next time.